When you’re going through divorce and separation it can be very difficult to find support from others who know what you’re going through. It can be an extremely isolating time and sometimes it is nice to know that there are others who know how you are feeling and can understand how difficult it is.

Why should I join a Divorce / Separation Support?

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A divorce is likely one of the most difficult events you can go through in your lifetime. Even if you are the spouse who filed for divorce, the full impact of your decision might not hit you until long after the ink has dried on your papers. Additionally, if you did not want the divorce or were blindsided by it, you may feel hopeless and unsure of what the future holds for you.

Divorce and separation groups provide a comfortable environment in which you can share your innermost feelings. It can be very therapeutic to talk to other people who understand what you are feeling in order to begin the healing process.

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What are the benefits of divorce group therapy?

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For many, speaking in front of a large group can feel like a daunting task. Some individuals might fear judgment or ridicule from their peers. Others simply get nervous in front of others and can’t form the right words to say. However, once you become comfortable in a group counseling setting, you can begin to experience the benefits of divorce support groups. 

​​When you first join a support group, you don’t have to rush into participation immediately. Many individuals tend to gradually increase participation as they adjust to the group and get to know other members and their situations. Together, you can gain a lot of knowledge and insight into different situations, advice, and emotions that come up during or after a divorce.

One of the more critical roles of these groups is to help you feel like you’re not alone. For parents, mothers especially, divorce can come with a lot of guilt. Feeling as though you’re destroying your family and causing stress for your children can be a hard emotion to live with. Divorce support groups provide you with the validation you need to feel like you’re doing the right thing. Hearing from other parents who are also divorced, with healthy, thriving kids, can help you believe everything will work out.

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Can Divorce / Separation Therapy help my children?

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While divorce isn’t easy on the couple splitting, it can be even harder for children no matter their age. Heading to family counseling during and after the process can help children with the transition. 

Parents working together to make their kids feel loved and supported is essential to keeping a family close during such a major change. Even though the parents are no longer together, their kids won’t feel forgotten. Family therapy teaches parents how to communicate better for the sake of their children even after the divorce. There are even groups available to help children of divorce find support from peers.

Additional support is also available for children through adolescent counseling services. Whether they seem to be adjusting well or are having trouble, it benefits them to regularly speak with a therapist or a group of peers.

How do I know if I need a divorce? 

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Do you need a divorce in the first place? Maybe you do. Maybe something has happened in your marriage that you absolutely can't get past, no matter what. But maybe you've decided to get a divorce without looking at all of your options. Talking with your partner is the first step that you should take because it's entirely possible that one or the other of you doesn't realize that they're making the other unhappy.

By talking with your partner, you can figure out if there's a chance of making things work after all. If there is, you may want to give it at least a chance. See what changes the two of you can make and maybe even start taking therapy sessions together, or to a relationship support group, to see if you can save your marriage. Of course, this is only going to work if you and your partner are both willing to put at least a little bit of effort into whatever is going wrong in your relationship.

If one or both of you are unwilling to put in the effort that's needed to work through your relationship, you're going to have to face the possibility of divorce. It's going to be difficult for only one of you to try and fix a relationship that both of you are in. You would need to give up a great deal to make the other person happy without getting anything in return. The needs or wants that you have for your relationship would not be met if the other person is unwilling to change but wants you to do so.

Only you and your partner can decide what will and won't work for your relationship. If you just can't make it work, then you may want to talk with your partner about a divorce. You and your partner and possibly your therapist or attorneys are the only ones that can tell you whether divorce is the best option for both of you. Keep in mind that jumping into anything is going to be a bad idea and unless the reason for divorce is substantial (abuse, assault, etc.) You don't want to jump from one event to filing for divorce immediately.

The most important thing to remember is that you deserve to be happy. No matter what happens in your life and what is going on with your partner and the rest of your family, even if you have children, it's essential to keep in mind that you should be happy as well. You do not deserve to take the brunt of what's happening in your relationship or to take on all of the work necessary. You can most definitely walk away if the relationship is taking too much out of you and not giving you back what you need to be happy, because it is very likely that you will have a much happier life after divorce.

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